Divorced Parents: Why You Shouldn’t Make Your Child Choose

A child looking between her divorcing parents as they hold onto her arms and fight over who the she will live with.

Divorced Parents: Why You Shouldn’t Make Your Child Choose

When you decide to divorce your spouse, you must understand that this isn’t a time to make your child decide, too. Divorce is never an easy situation, but making the mistake of putting your child in the middle and asking them to choose between parents can have adverse effects. Discuss with us why you shouldn’t make your child choose between parents in a divorce and how this can help you navigate co-parenting without putting unnecessary pressure on your child.

Emotional Burden

Asking a child to choose between parents places a significant emotional burden on their shoulders. Children naturally love both parents and derive their sense of security and identity from them. When tasked with making such an impossible choice, they often feel torn and guilty, as if they are betraying one parent by siding with the other. This emotional stress can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues that can negatively affect them for years.

Psychological Impact

We can’t overstate the psychological impact of making a child choose a parent in a divorce. This decision puts undue pressure on their developing minds, often leading to long-term psychological difficulties. It can create feelings of confusion, insecurity, and instability, which may translate into behavioral problems at home and school. Moreover, children might internalize the conflict, believing they are somehow responsible for the separation or the resulting family dynamics.

Strained Relationships

Forcing a child to choose between parents can strain their relationships with both. The chosen parent may become a source of resentment, while the parent who is not chosen may feel rejected and heartbroken. This dynamic can lead to a breakdown in communication and trust, making it difficult for the child to maintain healthy relationships with both parents. Over time, this can result in distance and estrangement, which can be emotionally devastating for all parties.

Loss of Childhood Innocence

Children deserve to enjoy their childhood free from adult conflicts and responsibilities. When asked to choose a parent, they are thrust into a role they are not equipped to handle, stripping them of some of their childhood innocence. They become entangled in the complexities of adult issues, which can rob them of the carefree and joyful experiences that are essential for their development. Premature exposure to adult conflicts can leave scars that affect their outlook on relationships and family life.

Legal Considerations

From a legal and ethical standpoint, making a child choose a parent in a divorce is highly problematic. LaCoste Family Law’s child support lawyers in Washington State strongly emphasize the importance of the child’s best interests, which typically includes maintaining strong relationships with both parents.

Clearly, you shouldn’t make your child choose a parent in a divorce. As parents, it is our responsibility to protect our children from the fallout of divorce and to foster an environment where they feel loved and secure. By avoiding the temptation to make them choose, we can help them navigate this challenging time with greater resilience and well-being.

If you’re looking for a child support lawyer to help you navigate this situation, consider contacting LaCoste Family Law. We are proud to support all of our clients and do everything we can to ensure this change in family dynamic goes smoothly.